We’ve done some great things together, me and my striver.
It was the thing that got me from a fairly average academic record to a 1st class honours degree in Business at university
The thing that kept me going after applying for ~40 graduate jobs and then managing to land one in a big financial services company in my home town.
The thing that allowed me to leave a 6 figure corporate job to start a business and know that I would make it work, whatever happened.
It was early this year when I understood that my close friend had become a toxic friend.
Because whilst I still needed them in my life, I had to limit how much I saw them. Muting their messages on the whatsapp. Keeping my distance physically and emotionally.
As I entered into the next phase of my life through pregnancy and motherhood - I realised I couldn’t strive my way through this.
And it wasn’t my fault that this was my modus operandi.
Society has instilled in us this desire to always want more and never to be happy with what we’ve got. It’s why we are so consumer driven - constantly chasing that hit of dopamine from tangible markers of success.
But being that way doesn’t make us happy.
I understood that what was missing in my life was contentment...
Being happy and content in the place I was in, in both my life and my work. That didn’t mean I would stop growing or stop pushing forward - those traits are core values of mine that I never want to lose.
Not feeling like you need to always doing more, but prioritising just ‘being’
Because life is more than just always focusing and pushing for the next thing. It’s looking at what you have and really, truly being content with that.
If you’d like to bring more contentment into your life then here are 3 tips:
Daily gratitude process
This doesn’t have to be a lengthy ritual - for me it’s using my ‘Five Minute Journal’ in the morning and noting down 3 things I am grateful for. I sometimes have to really dig deep but I find it completely changes my outlook for the day.
It’s something I rope my 3 year old into too - his top 2 tend to be apples and bananas with maybe a Harry Styles thrown in at number 3 (LOLS)
Ruthless prioritisation
We don’t have to be doing as much as we are led to believe. Women especially end up taking on the bulk of the emotional labour mode and it can be exhausting.
Look at all areas of your life and what you are juggling- which are glass and would break if they are dropped? And which are rubber and will bounce? ONLY focus on your glass balls for this week - the rest can wait
(This is a great analogy from Bryon Dyson, CEO of The Coca-Cola Company)
Regularly check in with yourself throughout the day
Whether I’m working or with my two boys, like many, my.days.are.full.on. I try and find snippets in the day - even if that is just making a coffee or going to the bathroom - to really check in with myself.
“How am I really feeling?”
“What do I need right now?”
These small questions can actually be huge and they allow you to make small adaptations to your day to give yourself what you need.
I’d love to know if you have any other tips to bring more contentment into your life? Or if you resonate with the striver tendency. Would love to continue this conversation in the comments.
If you’d like to hear more about my personal story relating to this, then I go into much more depth (REAL DEEP!) for my lovely email community. You can sign up using the link in the comments
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